As im sitting here writing this the left side of my face is tingling. A sharp high pitched tone is reverberating through my brain. Its been like this for over 2 months now. A full nights sleep is a forgotten memory. I have tinnitus.
It all started for me on April 5th. I was sitting in my living room with my wife when I remarked do you hear that tone? She looked confused, “what tone?” “Like a high pitched ringing noise?” I replied. “You mean the cicadas?” she responded. “Cicadas? I can’t hear any circadas, all I can hear is a non stop-ringing” I hurriedly responded. It was then I realized the sound did not have an outside source, it was coming from my brain.
In a panic, I dove down an internet rabbit hole; hammering google with searches “ringing in ear”, “high frequency noise” and “why is my ear ringing.” A ton of results came back at me, throwing me into the depth of Tinnitus. This wasn’t a condition I was unfamiliar with. I knew people who had it for years, but like all Tinnitus sufferers I was hell bent on finding an answer “why?”
All of sudden, in my flurry of searches its suddenly dawned on me. I had received my first dose of the Covid vaccine a week before. Was this related? It wasn’t listed on the side effects? I dove deeper and found a Facebook group called “Tinnitus and Hearing Loss/Impairment after COVID vaccination” 300 of so (Now its closer to 3000) people who were experiencing very similar or even more dramatic effects after receiving their Covid jab.
Firstly I need to say, I am the opposite of anti-vax. I believe firmly in science and couldn’t have been more eager to get my first shot. When the shot became widely avaliable in my city, I called numerous pharmacies and finally found one who had the doses avaliable. I was overjoyed to finally resume my life. To know that I would not longer be able to transmit this horrible disease and put others lives in danger.
So this was a total shock. Could this be a massive coincidence? I didn’t work around heavy machinary and I was never in the military. What the hell was going on?
In the next few weeks I saw 2 ENTs and a Neurologist. I did an audiology test which discovered high frequency hearing loss. At each consultation I would enquire “could this be from the vaccine.” I was met with blank stares and mumbled replies of “maybe” and “it could be a possibility.” Each time this vague reply was met with a piercing high pitched ring rippling through the left side of my head.
Im still walking this road. Its a lonely one with no answers. I cannot concretely establish whether my Tinnitus was a pure conincidence or the result of vaccine injury. Am I just an unlucky casuality of a global vaccination drive?
I feel defeated fighting this mental battle and endless back and forth between moments of relief and sonic torture.
I miss the sound of silence.
